I know you and I have posted about each other's sitches but I realized that I never posted here so now I will. You know that our stories are similar and that we suffer from many of the same issues. What curiosity said was a little harsh but you and I know it's what we struggle with daily; are we being weak or strong by taking the DB stance and not drawing lines in the proverbial sand? I struggle with this all the time, and the bit about "Those kind of people don't usually hang around on message boards or build consensus." part stings too. We only know what we see here. I only know that there are plenty of success stories here but the threads I am reading all, no matter how new or old, seem to be slowly progressing to, well, where? I really can't tell if this is the right way to go about this. It seems like my heart says do whatever you need to do to stick this out, and my head says do whatever you need to do to end this and begin fixing the mess of your life. There has to be middle ground and I think often Frank_D's blending of tough love and DBing seems promising in that respect but honestly, who knows if eventually it will pan out. All we know is that there are more than a few ways to approach this crisis our lives are in, and most of the time they are diametrically opposed to one another. DB says ultimatums will push them away for good. Tough love says no ultimatums will allow them to walk all over you and damage their respect for you. There are many other ways out there but you get the point. It sucks to be in the middle of one of the most paralyzing situations of our lives and be faced with so many contrary theories. I guess one of the worst things I am finding out is that while the people here and elsewhere are great to vent to and helpful to a fault, ultimately we are very very alone in making the decision what advice to take and what may or may not work for us no matter how forcefully we are told it will or won't. And the absolute worst thing is that we must make this decision(s) when we have just found out that many of the decisions we have made about our relationships and wives have been totally wrong. Nice, huh? Take solace that posting is cathartic and even though the choices are hard, at least there are still some to be made and with any luck at all we'll start making the right ones that will lead to our eventual happiness.
