Quote: This whole DB vs Tough love debate is kind of interesting. To be honest the whole DB approach seems very doormatty to me precisely as there doesn't seem to be a "Plan B" component like in Marriage Builders.
Actually the Last Resort Technique is similar to Plan B, but there really is not a time frame involved...I believe MB has 6mos of Plan A and then Plan B, which is based on a letter to the WAS.
DB, is not really about being a doormat...it's about GAL and raising your PMA, to prepare yourself for either a new R with your WAS or to move forward in your life. The Plan A is very similar to DB...I personally liked the approach of DB and the fact that you are not waiting around for your WAS to come to their senses...you are GAL and maybe, just maybe your WAS sees that the grass is not greener...
I for one have moved on after exactly 6mos...no Plan B, no LRT, I decided that the R that I thought we had was not really what I wanted in the future...my call...I happen to stay here because I have made many friends here and when you detach as I have done, you tend to see things differently and you can show people that it is possible...a person new to all of this is so focused on the WAS and the op...to the point dareIsay obsessed. I was there too...and you can't see anything other than that...you lose yourself...by internally searching for yourself, you see things a bit differently.
To each their own, I was on MB for several months...good advice their, good articles to read, but I found that I gained more from DB, for myself...I was never going to be able to save my WAS...so I decided that if I was going to be there for him when he hit rock bottom that I needed to be strong...but when I did, I realized that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with an Alcoholic.
