I don't want to give her any more justification to what she is doing! I also do not want to let her feel she can is walking all over me! Also I want to be true to myself and being cold and distant is not me, but it maybe what I need????
Well, I'd think if you become cold and distant, that will give her some justification to do what she's doing.
How about becoming more detached instead, hmmmm? How about letting go of the idea that you can control how she feels, hmmm? Think about what I wrote regarding 'establishing boundaries in a loving way'. You don't want to burn bridges, you don't want to react according to how you feel at the moment lest you regret it later, you don't want to be used either. That's what boundaries are for. Ask heatherg.
