What now-did what I was supposed to!

[Tim297181]

My wife and I seperated in April of 2005. It came as a shook to me, but over time found out there was another man that she was involved with and fll in love with! I never lost hope and did what I knew best at the time. I finally read the book and had a renewed hope. In November we moved back in together and she said the OM was out of her life! Well it is Jan 6 and she phoned him yesterday to "see how he was". This is not the first time because every couple weeks she would still feel compeled to contact him from the moment we moved back in.
We even went to Mexico over the holidays and she still is in contact with the other man!
Over the last few weeks I have had major anxiety and paranoia that she would contact this OM. I know it does not help and we have talked about it but it is hard to get rid of!
I told her last nite that after she called she had to make a decision if it was him or me! She admitted she still has unresolved feelings for this OM and is not sure what to do! She told me she loves me and I deserve better, and knows our marriage can't go forward unless she resolves her feelings! What next? Do a 180. Give her the "last" last resort? I don't want to lose her, and we have 2 kids age 2 and 4. We have come along way and I don't want it to blow up in front of m AGAIN~!