If she can't even say she loves you... then I'm afraid it sounds too much like you're being used and abused. I think you should try to get in touch with OM and/or his "wife" and see what your guts tell you.
Can you recall when she stopped saying she loves you? Does she wear her wedding ring?
If you love her and see the relationship as repairable... try to get her in to see a counselor.
