I did a search of your posts to learn about your sitch. You've mentioned a few times that you're writing a book. Is she aware of it?
She is also not sure when, if ever, she will be able to. She calls it her "wall". Have you looked at your relationship and tried to figure out what changed between you? Why was her "wall" built? Why did she develop an EC with OM?
No, I am only kidding. I am certianly not a writer. I am not a very good comedian if I am recycling my material.
We had a lot of things happen to us early on in our marriage. We had 3 kids in less than 5 years. Shortly after we found out we were expecting our 3rd was when she started the affair. She was friends with him for many years prior and they used to work together and enjoy the same professional career. After we found out she was pregnant, she got extremelly stressed about having to stay home with all 3 for a year and how much her career was going to take a hit. I was there physically for her now that I look back, I did not meet her needs. She leaned on him for support and eventually it became physical.
On paper, I am a good husband and father but apparantly I lack something that doesnt allow for our marriage to blossom.
Okay, so, are you meeting her needs? Do you know what they are?
For my research if you don't mind;
Did she have sex with this other man while she was pregnant?
Are you sure of paternity?
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Okay, so, are you meeting her needs? Do you know what they are? I do know what they are after discussing in length with each other. I am trying to meet them in ways that I never did before.
Did she have sex with this other man while she was pregnant?Are you sure of paternity? Yes, unfortunately, she did start her PA when she was pregnant. I am 99% sure that I am the father. I might still get tested. I have been assured up and down by both her and him that I am the father. They tell me they starting having sex 3 months after we found out she was pregnant.
Sorry for all of the questions, but we're all just trying to help!
Is she concerned about getting pregnant? Our kids are close in age, but both were planned. I also wonder (just curious), was OM more her friend than your's? I was under the impression he was a good friend of your's.
Quote: ------------------------------------------- Yes, unfortunately, she did start her PA when she was pregnant. I am 99% sure that I am the father. I might still get tested. I have been assured up and down by both her and him that I am the father. They tell me they starting having sex 3 months after we found out she was pregnant. -------------------------------------------
I recommend you do the DNA test. It is simple and inexpensive. It will be a good step toward establishing some trust. You simply can't trust the infidels to be honest about paternity.
I am not surprised at your answer. Typical infidel behavior.
I'm glad you are meeting her needs. I recommend that you remain diligent on the accountability, and give the sex a couple more months before you let it become a major issue. Please consider the DNA test. All it takes is a cheek swab. No pain, at least for the test.
Sorry for your pain.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Hmmm... I disagree with testing. I used to think testing was the truth, etc., but in these situations, you must consider how important the truth is. Dr. Laura changed my views on DNA testing.
If you find out that OM is the father, what happens? Do you suddenly stop loving child #3, who is completely innocent and knows only you as his/her father? Do you immediately stop trying to save your marriage?
I seriously suggest you weigh out the pros and cons of testing before entertaining the thought. I personally think that your wife would be distanced even further should the test prove you are the father.
Every man has a right to know his offspring, just like a woman does.
Every child has a right to know its parentage for obvious reasons, health not being the least of those.
I recommend that Maternal testing be done as well. Hospitals make mistakes. Those mistakes are NOT rare.
In hospitals, 15% of fathers recorded on birth certificates are not the paternal fathers of the child.
In random samples of parentage via DNA testing, 30% of men are not the biological father of their children.
In all cases, the child is innocent, fault and blame is reserved for the parents.
The biological father has rights. The father footing the bills has rights. The mother has rights. The child has rights.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
