I think we all feel a certain amount of guilt for hurting the one we love even if we were hurting him due to a genuine need of our own. Maybe, there were "better" ways you could have approached H. Maybe there was a kinder approach but perhaps this is just the path that you were meant to walk in your M. Maybe it was important for you to reach a place where you had to admit your own culpability too. I think you two are doing wonderfully. I also think that your H is darn lucky to have you.
About those date nights. I think you guys just need to get comfortable with having one at least once per month and finding a couple of teenagers is NOT negligent. Would it help if you had co-sitters since there are three? When I lived in FL there was a licensed, bonded babysitting service - all adults but very expensive. They were good. I only ever disliked one lady they sent. Call the County where they license daycares and see what they know. They might know some places. If you are members of a gym with a sitting service, some do "parents night out" once in a while. Even if your "date time" became working out together because of the gyms daycare that wouldn't be bad. Or, form a co-op of people through your church. Or, find a daytime daycare that allows "drop ins" and once a month go to lunch with H at work. Just some ideas for you honey but I think your H need to get real on this and accept whatever solution you find.
