Hi HP... Chiming in here to say that I have had a case of the guilts too. H and I were discussing how we couldn't stay up til midnight on New Yrs, and he brought up how we were even nerd-o's in our 20's, having gone on a cruise for our first anniversary ( I was 25 and he was 26) and how we never made it to the midnight buffet. And then he throws in that " it wasn't like we were having wild sex either"...recalling that we did not ML at all during that trip. He truly was not saying this in a resentful way...it was an easy, humorous convo...but afterwards I was like, " omg...I really sex starved this guy." Major attack of guilt ensued! But as NOP says, it takes two to tango ( or not tango)...did H ever really confron me or address the issue? Noooo. We were BOTH complicit in keeping the sexual relationship a miserable one, for many reasons, all of which you know about from reading my saga ( and thank you so much for all your responses...I learn so much from you).
Anyway...let go of the guilt! Guilt is only good when it causes you to do the right thing...it's productive in that way. Feeling negative about yourself...well, thats not helpful. And you are doing the right thing...and you are allowed to make mistakes along this incredible journey of growing up. It's what you do once you become knowledgeble that really counts.
