Hanging on/The Long Haul #7

[WCW]

Chile cheese dogs, scrumpdillyitious! Shocked, your apple pie was wonderful! How did you know apple is my favorite? Thanks for the company everyone.

It was a pretty quiet night, with the snow falling so soft and white. Totally opposite my mood. My sad and lonely grew to mad and angry, I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I’m sick and tired of this mess, of this idiotic life, of not being able to ask a question for fear of repercussions. Will this be the question that ends my marriage? I spent a lot of time outside, did the normal, did extra putzing, H finally came home. Remember when I used to say that he would still come and look me up when he got home? Well, unless I’m standing in the driveway and he runs me over he doesn’t look me up. I had a haypile to restock yet, and he helped. I asked what if anything he knew about a young person that has horses here free in exchange for help, and hardly if ever shows up anymore. It about turned into a big fight, and I was so ready for one, I had to bite hard to prevent it. We finished, and I went and sat on the hay pile looking for healing while listening to the quiet munching of horses eating. We used to do that together, one of our favorite things.

The chili dogs were good. Very quiet, no words until the very end of the meal. I finally came up with a neutral topic.

Nope, no laundry anymore. I’ve thought so for awhile, must be his new GAL. He is the King of DB.

I haven’t read FF thread, I have spot checked, but it just moves faster than I’ve been able to keep up.

Truck insurance – he was driving his truck. Mine was in a heap and totaled just a few weeks before from a wreck we were in, along with the horse trailer, and if the guard rail wouldn’t have held we all would have been a pile at the bottom of a steep embankment. As it was, just my truck was totaled and $7000 of trailer damage. Insurance went up from that, I expected it. Then he got a speeding ticket, only the 2nd one in 12 years. Now it showed up on his DMV record so up we go again. I have called before, wanting to separate insurance, can’t do it. If you’re married you have to be on the same policy. My truck now is new, my payments are higher and interest is higher than on my last truck. It’s a long story somewhere back in one of the threads.

I’m holding out on the R talk yet, at least until my head clears, literally. Maybe that’s my reason for a bad day, I’ve had a nagging headache all day, and laid on the couch and napped, now I’m awake and it’s worse than ever, my eyes ache. I suppose it’s time for me to get the crud. I hope not, I don’t have time to be sick. H is still pretty snappy, and so am I, so I’m headed to bed before I really regret Friday the 13th+7.