Hanging on/The Long Haul #7

[WCW]

It's a weird feeling today. I don't understand how I feel, and unfortunately it will probably pass. I feel almost a sense of peace, accepting at least for today that there is nothing I can control about H's feelings for me. Could be just because it is unseasonably warm and the sun is shining bright, I'm getting my dose of SAD medication.

Last night we had a small amount of conversation, H laid down on the couch early. I wish he would at least say good night. Later I left the room to go to bed, slept on and off again, a little more than usual. This morning we had a little good interaction, and while I was busy zapping off a form on the computer, I asked H if he would make me some toast. He did. Not really a big deal, but for 11 years he made toast for us each morning, and then quit. Today I got toast. I said thanks. I've also noticed that he doesn't even get close to a shower this week until after I leave.

H asked about my project and the big assembly tonight. I told him details, and asked if he was coming to help. He said something, I said what? he said he was coming to help. Something out of routine for us, with other folks around. Should be a nice change of pace.