Hanging on/The Long Haul #7

[IAChild]

My joy can't come from him, I can't depend on him to fill me, it won't happen. He may be part of it, but he can't provide it.. I have to find my way back to my own person, my own joy.

And the interesting thing about this part of this particular journey is this -- when we LBS often get to this place, this is when we find our WA's being drawn back to us. I've a few friends on some other threads who've been finding themselves in this very sitch, and now they question whether they really want their WA back.

Ah yes, the many paradoxes of Life.

[Again!]

WCW
check out Mike in Midland's thread.
The first few posts will probably offend you. Don't respond, I was brutal. I told that I was going to be, but he read through it anyway. He is a WAH. EA,PA denial. W finally said enough is enough and sent him packing. He started by saying that he was "pushed out" I think that he has been set straight there. He has alot of growing to do, but you may find his perpsective interesting.

[WCW]

It's a weird feeling today. I don't understand how I feel, and unfortunately it will probably pass. I feel almost a sense of peace, accepting at least for today that there is nothing I can control about H's feelings for me. Could be just because it is unseasonably warm and the sun is shining bright, I'm getting my dose of SAD medication.

Last night we had a small amount of conversation, H laid down on the couch early. I wish he would at least say good night. Later I left the room to go to bed, slept on and off again, a little more than usual. This morning we had a little good interaction, and while I was busy zapping off a form on the computer, I asked H if he would make me some toast. He did. Not really a big deal, but for 11 years he made toast for us each morning, and then quit. Today I got toast. I said thanks. I've also noticed that he doesn't even get close to a shower this week until after I leave.

H asked about my project and the big assembly tonight. I told him details, and asked if he was coming to help. He said something, I said what? he said he was coming to help. Something out of routine for us, with other folks around. Should be a nice change of pace.

[Again!]

Tonight sit on the couch. He can't exactly lie down on you and go to sleep w/o some interaction.

[IAChild]

WCW,

I feel almost a sense of peace, accepting at least for today that there is nothing I can control about H's feelings for me.

It could also mean that you are turning a corner in how you are understanding the sitch.

Don't let this pass. It could be your next big building block, which could inevitably lead to a huge sense of success, regardless of what happens.

M

[Phoenix_spark]

Hi WCW,

No this is not a mirage, I've just been lurking without much to say. I like the idea of planting in the middle of his couch, till he goes in to the bed, wait a half hour, then go to bed. Can't wait to see what happens in the morning. Not sure if that classifies as a 180.

By the way, if he says he needs the couch, swing your heals sideways and say..... ...... .....you get the just. Should blow him out of the water. I'd love to see the look on his face. You make the call.

[amd]

WCW, thought I had this in my faves but it didn't take.

My joy can't come from him, I can't depend on him to fill me, it won't happen. He may be part of it, but he can't provide it. I have to find my way back to my own person, my own joy.

Maybe that's where this sense of peace is coming from. Hang in there.

[WCW]

Phoenix! you lurker! good to see you again.
Hogging the couch is a good idea, and I've already done that. Not real good results. We also have a love seat (short couch) so he just laid down there, or on the floor. He hasn't gone to sleep in our bed unless company was here staying on the couch. One night, way back when, and I got upset about him not coming to bed, I 'demanded' that he get off the couch, and if he wasn't coming to bed then I was sleeping with him. I unfolded the couch into a bed, and we both slept there. Lots of distance in a little space. So, been there, done that. Is it worth another try?
Last spring I even removed the couch from the house and it spent the summer in the barn. He slept on the floor all summer. How many words do you know for stubborn?

I drove home tonight with the sunroof open in my truck. Not bad for January 'way up here in da nort country'.

[BeingMe]

Gosh! Your H takes the prize in stubborness! One day, he is going to feel really foolish for all the time wasted. To me, it seems somewhat foolish, and I wonder what point he is trying to make. You seem to be keeping your sense of humour about it all, though, and I think that's the best defense/offense in this or any situation, 'eh!

[Again!]

Seems to me that you both have a streak.
You put the couch in the barn!
I really don't know what to say.
back to the physical contact.
Try offering a backrub, something he would like.