Hanging on/The Long Haul #7

[WCW]

Ok, looks like I have lots of homework to do, I'll be back for that.

Opti - I suppose you're busy in that new house? when's the housewarming party?

Yesterday went pretty much like I figured. I did a little conversation while it was just H and I, but I'm just not a chattykathy person,never have been, especially when I have to carry both ends of the conversation. Ha! there's an idea, have the whole conversation with myself while he just sits there. I could even insert the answers I want to hear from him!

Last night we got home later in the evening, I went out to do chores, but H never came out. Not like it's his responsibility to do them at night, that's my half, but I just thought it was weird he never even walked outside. When I got done I didn't feel like going inside yet, so I went for a walk with the dogs. Felt good. When I did go inside I got to work on some of the items from our meeting, as well as some of the other stuff I'm working on for this weeks project deadline. I was up quite late, H went to sleep on the couch again. But as soon as I went to bed, he was awake. And this morning he was up to use the bathroom before I took a shower. So..drum roll....I knew he was already up, I went and asked if he'd like to join me for a shower (for those of you just joining, we always showered together, then quit, then did again, then H quit again), H said 'guess not'. I asked if he wasn't showering today, he said he took two this weekend and didn't want to wash his sweet off. I agreed, sure wouldn't want to do that. I went and took a long hot shower. Usually I dash thru to save plenty of hot water for H, he takes long showers. When I was finished I put my robe on, I walked back out and H was making coffee. He ignored me, I finally tapped him on the shoulder, he wouldn't turn to me but said 'what?' I said I'd like a hug. He turned half way with his best look of 'I don't want to hug you or touch you or be close to you', I hugged him, he left his arms at his side. I made it last a little bit. Went and got dressed and prepared to leave for work. Of course H couldn't go take a shower while I was still home, afterall, he said he didn't want to wash his sweet off. So he was sitting at the kitchen table, and made a comment about a magazine he was looking at. Then he had to walk away from me and around the counter, just in case I would ask for another hug I would have to really chase him. So I just said, 'see ya later, thanks for the hug.' I didn't hear a response from him, but he did make eye contact.

I broke the ice. Maybe not the right way, but without a direct approach like I did, I just can't keep up with how good he is at avoiding me. And he now knows I'll be coming back for more, so it will be even harder. But like you have all suggested, I think I'd rather go down giving it all my best try, than just standing by watching it slide away.

And, I am getting some packets of sweetener to put in the bathroom for H with a little note "apply after showering."

More later. Thank you all!