Hey guys (and girls) it's been awhile. Wow, it does feel a little bit better to not be the only one going though this feeling, and damnit, I hate that you are all here too, but hopefully we can help each other. Right as I type this I am 99% certain my wife, who still lives in our house and has NO plans of moving out of (nor do I) since the priority for both of us, at least as far as our household, is our two boys. I think that is one of our major issues; that we put them first always and our marriage went to hell in a hand basket. So like I said, she's "out" and I am here with the boys, just put them to bed and alone to think all the horrible thoughts that go through our heads in times like these. The real problem Tim and everyone else, is if you venture away from this board and look in on some of the other boards around the net, you will see some VERY different advice about how NOT to wait and FORCE an end, one way or another if there is an affair. Now of course THAT seems like common sense and what we all want to do right about now (or for me in about 2 hours when she comes home) and I for one can't tell how long I will be able to maintain this charade of indifference. Yea, I'm working on myself, going to therapy and reading all the books that matter but you know what, no matter how much of that I do, I keep coming back to the same place; in my world, and probably yours too, if the tables were turned and I tried to pull this with my wife, she'd have castrated me, divorced me, taken half of what was left and fought for sole custody. You can take that to the bank. And she's not a particularly strong person (or so I thought) when it comes to things like this but I guarantee there would be no book reading or therapy to do if it were me cheating. So where does that leave me? A weak minded, spineless man who is ok with another guy doing my wife while she pretends that all is ok in the world? A weak minded guy who goes so far as to try to improve MYSELF because somehow her weakness and inhumane actions are MY fault? Of course, to remain sane, I have to keep centering myself and tell myself that I am doing the right thing for "me", whatever that means... Got news for you, it isn't all roses on the other side of the bed either but I NEVER, for one minute EVER considered cheating. Maybe that should change. Oh well, as if you didn't know, this is a really bad time for me right now. The next post you read from me will either be more of the same or reporting the results of doing everything we have been told not to do. At least we'll have a recent case study.
