Quote: Do you think that he will say anything about it later after he's thought about it, or is he usually just done talking about it when it happens?
To be honest, this is a real crap shoot and I have no way of knowing. It depends on whether he needs to do more processing. If he continues to process after the initial conversation, he will come back to it. If he's done, he's done.
It hasn't come up, and I haven't brought it up. We've had a couple of nice, quiet albeit short evenings together and some apart this week, so all is going swimmingly.
Gabe's insights on this matter have been extremely illuminating and good for me to remember that these types of actions are gifts from SO (though its not his primary LL).
I find what seems to work best for me in expressing difficult or worrisome emotions or responses is to try to use language or phrases SO has used in the past with me. I think it helps to communicate more clearly what I'm thinking or feeling (gives him an "in my shoes" perspective).
Of course one of our greatest achievements in our New R is that we are both doing really well with letting sh*t go. That was probably one of my most egregious failings in the past. I just wouldn't let sh*t go. I've learned! (And a poor, middle-aged memory helps too!)
M
P.S. Thank you for the compliment, Amd. In sharing my journey, I hope to hold out hope for others, too. I remember how much pain I was in when I first found DR and this community. If sharing can help others, then I am giving back even just a tiny fraction of what I've received.
