Okay gang, I'll try a quick update before I head off for some meetings...
The Final. I made it through the final. Going into it, I had a low B. The prof shorted me a B on the final by one lousy point, which also dropped my B to a C for the class. It's still passing, but not so hot for grad work. Do I think he did it on purpose? Yes. Can I prove it? No. So I just take it and move on. Interestingly enough, I started my next class the very next night. "Ethics in Public Administration," with prof I've had before and who I think is great. My goal is to totally ace this course to bring my overall GPA back up to par. A 3.00 is required to graduate from the program.
Ongoing Reconciliation with SO. This has been going reasonably well, although we hit a couple of bumps in the road:
1) Last week, he told me about a project he's working on. It requires a leadership team that he put together, which I understand. He was telling me about the 3 people he picked and why. I totally understood why he chose 2, but I'm struggling with my own issues with the third. She's a 24 yo member of his comedy troupe, and he's pretty buddy-buddy with her. She was a marketing major, so that applies to what he needs for his team. The goal of the project he's working on is to market the comedy troupe and make it a $15k business operation within the year. So it makes sense that he has someone from the troupe on his leadership team as well. However, it just smacks of a lot of what I went through with him before over OW2 who he turned out to have an affair with. I am resigned to the fact that if he is unfaithful again, it is still a reflection of who he is and has nothing to do with me. Additionally, if he is unfaithful again, it will be right under the noses of the other 2 members of his leadership team -- both of whom I know very well, both of whom SO respects immensely, and both of whom thought he made a huge mistake by ending our R and were very pleased when we reconciled. So, time will tell and there's nothing I can do. It's out of my hands. But at least this time I have far better tools to cope.
2) Saturday I went shopping with my DD26 and DGS8 mos. Guess who I spotted at the mall? OW2. She looked like a boy. I hardly recognized her. Saturday night I had dinner with SO. I struggled with whether or not to bring it up. I didn't. There wasn't anything to be gained by it. But it still bothered the heck out of me. First time I'd seen her anywhere since I had that meltdown last June.
3) Sunday night I went to SO's for dinner. He was cooking, and I'd brought a couple of things to throw in. I was cutting up a cucumber for the salad and then trying to clean up my mess, while trying to stay out of his way as best as possible. It's a small galley kitchen and he really staked the kitchen out as his "domain" after I moved out. He started to feel intruded upon and essentially asked me to leave the kitchen and sit on the other side of the counter. This bothered me immensely and I withrdrew to a degree during the evening while we watched a movie. It hurt, and I was trying to figure out how to express that hurt.
I came up with it the next morning. SO used to tell me that he felt like when he was trying to do the right thing and be helpful, and I didn't like the way he was doing something, I would make him feel like a kicked dog. (The analogy being dogs just want to please.) I explained to him that was they way I felt. I was only trying to help by contributing to dinner, and to make sure that I cleaned up my mess and put the dishes in the dishwasher that I had used. He said he needed to be able to express how he felt too.
Not sure anything was resolved there, but at least I let him know how I felt, and I was able to put it in terms he should understand (since I used his own illustration).
I was over there again last night, after I finished some homework. We hung out for a bit and then went to bed and the ML fairy visited. It was very passionate and intense and moving, and I was in tears afterwards. This is not the first time since our reconciliation that I have been in tears after ML.
DRing is definitely not for the faint of heart, yes indeed -- the real work begins once you reach the point of reconciliation.
Okay, off to a day of meetings and a 1000 word paper to write on why I think ethics should be a part (or not) of public administration.
M
Have a lovely day, all of you lovely, wonderful people!
Guess who I spotted at the mall? OW2. She looked like a boy. I hardly recognized her. Saturday night I had dinner with SO. I struggled with whether or not to bring it up. I didn't. There wasn't anything to be gained by it. But it still bothered the heck out of me. First time I'd seen her anywhere since I had that meltdown last June. 
