Thanks for swinging by my thread and for the words of encourgement - I appreciate that!
Couple of random observations from a man's point of view...
First - you did well to recognize that you wanted the convos to have a different pattern - and for telling him so. That's great stuff and diffused the sitch nicely.
Second - have you read "Reinventing Yourself" by Stephen Chandler? The reason I ask, is that he discusses "forgiveness" - and offers "acceptance" as an alternative. IHO, he feels that "forgiveness" can be a trap for it connotes a sense of moral superiority and it's something we bestow upon the offending parties out of this superiority - and yet, we often keep this forgiveness lying around and use it as a cudgel when we feel slighted later on....
Lemme ask you a question - you say you "want to trust him"....what will he be doing when he builds trust up in your? And have you told him this/praised him when he does these thing?
Third - character flaws. Cop out. That makes me leery of his reasoning - perhaps that's a sign of his movement back toward you...."no fault--->character flaw---->responsibility for one's own actions. IOW and esp since he's big on character building, his saying "character flaw" as his "excuse" shows me he's still wrestling with this internally - at least he doesn't blame you - and that's the huge first step....
Overall, your stich seems really promising and forward moving....he's def coming to terms with himself and you're doing a great job of analyzing the context of the convos - did they work, what you can do "better", etc - and as you note, the efforts you put in here are paying off in spades for *your* internal feelings.....
