Ah Gabe and K, my faithful companions through all of this!
Thank you for commenting!
Quote: I get ansy whenever I hear someone describe themselves has having character flaws, etc..., as usually this involves sizable guilt and (more troubling) the potential for the person to see themselves as not changeable.
I completely understand what you are saying here, Gabe. But remember, SO is a self-educated philosopher, libertarian and egoist (the Ayn Rand stuff). He's totally about choice and he knows his character is for him to mold and shape.
Quote: Maybe he's trying to take sole responsibility in response to your obvious pain?
I think this is an excellent observation and it fits right in with SO's thinking of himself as a hero/resecuer.
Yes, it did feel good to hear him say this, but not nearly as good as I imagined it would. I suspect this is true because I don't believe it.
Yes, we are all responsible for our own happiness, so whatever was going on in our R at the time was no excuse for him to seek that kind of happiness somewhere else. However, I also know, from what I've learned from DR, most of the things I did wrong back then:
I was whiney
I was sad
I was a nag
I came off as needy
I spent no time trying to take care of myself and expended all of my energy in trying to save the R
I was angry and felt rejected, which came out inappropriate ways
Gee, who wants to be around that? Doy.
Joe, I understand where you are coming from too. You've been through hell and back, and it's good that you recognize that your recent experience with your XW and the D are influencing how you see things. Remember that when you're ready to start dating, my friend.
Quote: If he's on Dad Duty, will you get together with some FFs for a MOMster truck rally instead?
Oooooo no, no, no, my friend! Remember, I live in a snooty university town! No MOMster truck rallies here! Most of my spare time (most recently) is taken up with extra work, school, church responsibilities and family.
I also recently joined a club that SO has been wanting me to join for years! So that takes up a little bit of time, too, but it's fun.
Doy. 
