I sure understand the thoughts about never ever would have done this. H and I had all those conversations, how we would never do that, we would always be open to each other, we both have morals and ethics. Where did that go? how did it come to this?

I do think you're onto a good idea. Live in the present with SO, without ow. It hurts for you, but it's past history. I don't know your whole history, but would it be a conversation you could have to ask him what he felt at that time? why would he do that? what can be done to avoid those feelings again? I haven't moved past all of this yet, obviously. But I am definetely less consumed by it all, and someday I hope H and I are in a spot that I am able to ask him those questions to help us heal.

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.