Quote: maybe "respect" and "admiration" are words/ concepts that he saves for other people and situations that are not as close to his heart as your R.
That would be easier for me to believe if he hadn't used the word "admire" toward OW2, even post break-up between them.
Update.
I'm still struggling with a lot of inner conflict over this whole thing. While I don't think I'm suppressing anger, I'm not really expressing any either.
I want to continue to be amazing about this whole thing, not just to SO but I want to amaze myself too.
But boy the things I think about doing and saying. Grrrrrrr! Yeah, I'm pissed. But I find the level of my anger is in direct proportion to how much I think about it (the more I think about it, the angrier I feel, and the less I think about it, the anger dimishes to a small red coal). I thank the "Feel Good" book for this ability to manage this.
Of course the other thing I struggle with is the smashed construct I previously had, about SO and what we shared together. This is piece that I think is going to be the most difficult to sort out.
It's not like anyone's never been unfaithful to me, cheated on me, before. Toward the end of M#1, both XH and myself were running around; neither of us were grown-up about it. And XH #2 also cheated on me. I found this out after he moved out. A florist was trying to stick me for his bill of flowers he had sent to an OW. I don't think so, dude.
But SO and I have had so many conversations about morality and ethics and appropriate behavior and motivations. And we are talking about those things again. How do I reconcile what is coming out of his mouth with his actions?
Even when we were at our very worst, our ugliest, toward the end of R1, I never, ever would have thought he would have done this. And the context of our history during this time -- it still makes no sense. (For those of you who've been following my story all along, he started his PA with this girl the very week he got back from Dallas, when he got his DUI. Apparently he'd already been having an EA with her prior.)
For those of you on this Piecing thread, how have you been able to move past these things? What tool have you been using?
The best I can pull out of my tool bag right now is to just try to live in the present with SO.
Any input would be greatly appreciated (ahem...Ellie, if you're out there...).
