Quote: I've spent some time on the newcomers area giving advice and looking through their struggles. And know what? I'm glad this occurred. I really think that all of this was for the best and that if she had come back before I had a chance to work on myself that it wouldn't be easy to stay together.
Food for thought. Especially as I work though my uncertainty.
I know for most this isn't that great of a day, but it is still about loving...maybe it does need to be reciprocated. :P
Today brings back memories of last Valentine's day when my XW was still a WAW. We went out to eat, the kids and I, and she joined us after going to the gym. She was rethinking being separated from me. She questioned trying again. She kissed me goodbye...a kiss initiated by her. I felt I was on the path to reconciliation. It only took another 11 months. Funny world hunh? It is amazingly different to find that this Valentine's day I have her back to celebrate it with. Very cool.
I saw this video on CMT a couple times and it really is quite applicable to many, especially those of you in the "divorced but not done" section. Here are the lyrics:
Quote: Postcards and letters And pictures made to last forever To be boxed up and tossed away Knickknacks and souvenirs In an afternoon, they're out of here They'll disappear without a trace But what they mean to me Can never be replaced.
I can't unthink about you I can't unfeel your touch I can't unhear all the words Unsay all the things That used to mean so much I wish I could unremember Everything my heart's been through And finding out it's impossible to do Oh, it's no use I can't unlove you.
Interstates and old songs Like time they go on and on I guess I could learn to do the same I could wake up without you These two arms not around you Tell myself it's meant to be this way No matter how I try I can't change.
I can't unthink about you I can't unfeel your touch I can't unhear all the words Unsay all the things That used to mean so much I wish I could unremember Everything my heart's been through And finding out it's impossible to do Oh, it's no use I can't unlove you.
Try to enjoy Valentine's day today as much as possible. If nothing else then love yourself.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Great sentiments in that song!!! Again I wish you much success and happiness....I can only hope that myself and others can get to where youare.
I really thought I would have given up by now; but I haven't and maybe it is a false hope; but seeing your success and a few others makes me think it is possible. However, alot of people tell me to give up and that reconciliation is unlikely if it hasn't happened yet.
I will keep going for now; but I am afraid of holding on too long.
Quote: However, alot of people tell me to give up and that reconciliation is unlikely if it hasn't happened yet.
I will keep going for now; but I am afraid of holding on too long.
People that care about you will always tell you to give up. What have you got to lose by making your life complete without her, but still having a little hope for reconciliation. Most of the advice you get from people that don't understand this process involves finding someone else. Plugging another person into the XW shaped hole in your heart doesn't work. Don't feel bad about finding it hard to unlove your XW. There isn't a timeframe for this. In my opinion, the clock on any future chances first started when she ended it with OM. So it hasn't been long at all. Keep your chin up.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Thanks for the pep talk. That is how I feel. I mean, like you said the end of the OM isn't that old and so, I guess I shouldn't expect that it should go faster. I mean, I have been working on me and this since day one and she has just started. She is still trying to figure things out after a hiatus of 8 months. What she wanted to accomplish is just now happening because she put it on hold for OM. I guess I just have to stick it out. I just need to learn how not to push her; but be there too.
I will stay in the fight for now; but I hate the downs!!! But I gues that it's all part of the process and the positive thing is she is talking to me and still there.
Thanks for the words of advice. I am in a really great place. So many people on these boards helped me. I wouldn't be where I am without you all--thanks.
I will post an update on my thread soon. I feel better about things with ex more than I ever have and most of it has only to do with me.
Interesting that you never actually stopped seeing ex, but you let go of the emotional connection. I can't do that in my situation, but is reaffirms what I believe. Stop pursuing but DO NOT stop treating them with love. You got to put it out there and expect nothing in return. That is a hard thing to do, but it is necessary. I think going completely dark only says that you have given up on them.
Just a little note of update. February 2005, I happily (literal, I don't know what got into me) moved my W out of my house and into her apartment. Yesterday I moved her back in. I suppose I better actually open up and share that with family members.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Don't know yet. Things are going swimmingly. Last night I slipped up twice and she playfully pointed it out to me...I referred to myself as "her husband" and she said "what?" I then laughed and said..."that's pretty presumptious of me".
I already feel married to her/still married to her, so I suppose at some point when I feel we are both ready I'd be willing to put the rings back on.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Quote: I suppose at some point when I feel we are both ready I'd be willing to put the rings back on.
Darn tootin! Gotta make an honest woman of her.
Seriously, if I were you, and I'm not, but just suppposin' ( ) I don't know what to think. I mean, you two were married once, then the D happened. But I might still 'feel' married to her already. I guess its as important as the 1st time, as it symbolizes the commitment to each other.
But don't go rushing off to tie the knot. Let it perculate a bit more...
) I don't know what to think. I mean, you two were married once, then the D happened. But I might still 'feel' married to her already. I guess its as important as the 1st time, as it symbolizes the commitment to each other.