Sounds like you're both looking at things realistically, actually. The fight and the open discussions may actually be positives in that you now can be 'real' with each other, maybe even talking about the boundaries each of you might like (e.g., time together away from the kids, time with family, time for oneself).
I've always thought that DBing 'really' begins once you both attempt to reconcile. Alone, it's easier to hit those triple-axles, but in tandem you now have to work thru things in sync or at least in consideration of the other person.
How are the kids taking to all of this change? Any acting or testing?
