Quote: How does one keep up with self-care when the WAS returns fulltime? Is it less necessary now that your lovebank is being filled in part by your lover? Or is there a better balance than before the bomb, in which you keep feeding yourself some, making you less dependent on your lover for your needs?
I think I can easily weigh in on this one too.
SO and I do not live together, and that won't be happening for a while due to his D15. I think it is still very critical, for BOTH of us, to maintain a steady focus on our own self care-taking. From an objective perspective, I see SO struggling with this more than I, simply because he has a different set of demands and challenges with his life with D15 and XW complications. I find that I am freer with my "off" time than he.
We still manage to find time to do things together and find activities to enjoy together when he's on his dad rotation (1/2 month cycles). And, interestingly enough, I don't feel that this adds pressure for the "on" times of the month (non-dad-duty time).
Additionally, I notice he has a lower frustration threshhold when he doesn't get his self-care time. I try to encourage it, and it's something I need to do more of. At the same time, I can't control his time, and he knows he's responsible for himself.
Okay, I'm rambling now. The point that I'm trying to make is that we should always love ourselves first.
