I do want you to know, that during this time, I have gone to counselling for me...I also have made new acquaintances, hooked back up with old friends and I don't want to give that up even if she came back. SO, I hope noone misunderstands me and thinks I have been doing nothing but pining for her. That is no the case. It is just that I really would love the chance to discuss our problems with her now that she is coming out of her fog and we are interacting. That was not possible for her before.
As far as her feeling guilty. Yeah, I think she does and is not ready to face things yet if ever. But what she doesn't know is based upon observations of things and knowing certain stuff that she has probably done, I have gone over the worst case scenarios with my friend and as bad as some of the things are, I have no problem forgiving her. I made mistakes too. Maybe not to the extreme it seems she has; but I am compassionate when it comes to her. That is as long as she is willing to talk and sincerely regret., for herself, what she has done. I don't want to have to say I forgive her...I just want her to know that I do.
I am getting a life like you mentioned...Just that moving up here, for my kids and to be closer to work, is going to make that a case of starting alot of that over again in a new area. I want to; but I want to make sure I can handle it and do it for the right reasons. i.e. not being with her...can I handle living in a new town that she is in too??? I don't know; but I feel like I should be here for my kids.
