Thanks. I wish you the best also. From what you have written, I think that your XW knows you are interested. For you I think the juggling act is between appearing too needy and too disinterested. You have a degree of comfortableness still and my suggestion would for the time being just be her friend. Show you're supportive. Show you are interested in her life. Ask general questions. Eventually there may come a time that she is prepared to open up to you. She's got to trust that you can handle whatever revelation it is. In order to do that, it is my opinion that she has to know you are strong enough and that you aren't too wrapped up in her. If she feels you are pining away too much she might be afraid whatever she's guilty about will be crushing to you. She may even feel that it will end any chance with you. My suggestion is to avoid any R talks with her for now. Just have a discussion with her but keep it focused on her and don't say anything about your own feelings (ie miss her, sad, love her).
As for "moving on" or getting a life, it's not about finding someone else or giving up hope, it's about putting her and your hope at least for decent stretches of the day into your subconscious. Go to the gym or do some outdoor activity. Take up a team sport if possible and get to know and enjoy being around teammates and other people. This is a good time to practice connecting with people even if it's just your waitress at supper. Have a good conversation with a coworker if you have one. I think you'll find as you do things to take your mind off your X, you will realize how nice (and how easy) it is to have a conversation with someone that is a little more even-keeled. Maybe it will help to think of it this way...if your XW "woke up" today, would you personally feel that you used the time apart to grow and to your best advantage? The new relationship will go better if you feel largely healed and know yourself as well as possible. If she asks, "what did you do during our time of separation?", you don't want to say, "oh, tried to get a life, but mainly pined away for you".
That's one thing I feel really good about. When she said "think about trying again", I didn't feel the need to leap at it as though my prayers were answered. I felt then and still feel that I'm in control of my emotions and in control of the pace of this R and where it goes. If the time comes to try again, you need to be capable of voicing your fears of getting hurt again, etc, without worrying that she will run away again. Even though the last several days have gone swimmingly and it is like we are married again (p.s. I just got roses from my X with a card saying "I love you"...very sweet) and I actually do feel loved, I still have the sense that I have the strength developed through this process to be okay if things don't end up working out.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
