It's always nice to hear stories like yours. I think you are doing the right thing - you are listening to what your XW has to say, you are not judging her, yet you are being careful. I am glad the hell you have gone through last year did not end up being wasted. Sure, in the end, you or she may choose to stay separated, but still, knowing that she came back realizing her own problems must mean a lot to you.
I have said this before, but it seems to me that women are more likely to turn around a bit more quickly as we tend to prefer stability? I know quite a few men who walked away from their families and ended up regreting the decision, but unfortunately much later, and that usually happened AFTER they met someone else, found out that new partners were not any better than their previous partners. Instead, I feel that women may or may not need to go through "bad relationship experiences" to realize their bad decisions. Of course there are always exceptions, but so far, that is my observation.
So I am not holding my breath for my situation (my STBXH is the one who walked away, believing if he ends up being with someone else, he will be a happy person) to turn around any time soon, if that ever happens. Still, it would be nice if I ever see him turning around in the future - even if that would be too late - at least I may be able to feel some type of "closure" then.
I like what you quoted as well. I do not want to use any new relationships I may have as a healing tool, that is for sure. But I DO understand the tendency for wanting to have someone else as a replacement.
I am glad you and the girl you were seeing last summer sort of died out naturally. It appears what people say is true - things always work out for the best in the end. I may be finally believing in it.
