While I'm not completely caught up on your sitch, I think I get this jist from this post.
Have you read, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,"? Many of us on the bb have found this to be a good companion to DR. It can help us understand where the opposite sex is coming from, albeit in some pretty broad terms. It won't help you read her mind (it seems she's having a hard time reading it herself), but it can help you understand us Venusians and our perspective a bit.
Good luck. I must say that I find all of these stories here, from "the other side of the pain" to be very interesting. They are many and varied.
