Last dance???

[Just_Me]

Hello all,

Here's my update for Friday.

I talked to a friend last night about my sitch. I felt like what my X said was merely words, not backed up by any actions that felt like trying. I felt I needed to know what she thought about all this. So I called her up and told her I didn't sense any kind of "difference" and told her where I stood. In a nutshell, I indicated that I didn't know if I wanted to try again and that I needed to get together with her some to even see whether I wanted to pursue a relationship with her. She said at this point she just feels lost, which isn't especially reassuring because it just repeats to me that reaching out to me was just a safety net. She also said maybe she shouldn't have told me that and I replied that it was okay, I didn't believe her anyway. I said I was skeptical of her motives, her sincerity about trying again, and her motivation to do what it would take. I told her that my assumption was that she would call up and say "I take that back. I didn't know what I was saying in a moment of weakness."

I ended it by saying that I just wanted to clarify things, if possible, so that I could be fair to her and anyone else I would potentially date. I think that what I need is closure of this whole thing. Either I convince myself that there is no future with my X or I convince myself that I'd like there to be.

After that I was concerned about her. Being lost is not a great place to be. I said that she had family and friends that love her and that she shouldn't be afraid to reach out for support. I would help too if she needed someone to talk to or needed a break from the kids for awhile.

Anyway, she called this morning to see if I wanted to grab lunch together. There is something about her and mornings. She's called every time in the morning. Maybe it's that she is awake thinking about things and then acts on her thoughts first thing in the morning. She doesn't call after that though.

That's it for updates. Have a great day.

Me