My take is that no real convo b/t the two of you will take place in front of the kids. Just like you would for any first date, hire a babysitter (actually, they're teens, aren't they?) and meet without the kids knowing, so that neither of you has to face any flak from them about a 'date.' Then you might stand a chance of really seeing where she's at. I wouldn't weigh heavily any exchanges over the phone or via email. You need to see her nonverbals and she yours.
