I'm probably not going to have any answers for you. When I was holding on, more actively DBing, the thing I tried to do was be there for her and be friendly. That's not a hard task because she's someone I care for. She never said anything about trying again when things were at their most friendly. It was always.."been there, done that". Those nice things, the times of support, did register with her. She mentioned it even though at the time I would have figured she didn't even notice. So I think if you are interested in seeing a R with her again that just being yourself and being her friend may eventually be noticed. If you were a jerk the whole time, she wouldn't even think about trying again with you.
But it's only after I let go and moved on that I heard this. And I don't think I ever would have even then if she hadn't had her own personal crisis and reached towards the comfort of someplace she felt was safe.
Tman, my problem isn't.."So, if you make like or actually give up, how will that person know that they should fight for you and that you just aren't gone forever???"
I don't care about that. If her idea of "trying again" means that I have to do the contacting, the inviting, the dates, etc, then she wasn't really interested in trying again anyway. We are in two different places. I was in your place at one time...wondering those same things. Now I'm at the place where I know I'm deserving of more. I deserve an adult, mature love that goes both ways. I deserve a soft place to fall. If she makes an effort to show me she was sincere about trying again, then I won't push her away, but neither will I jump through hurdles. I ran that obstacle course. If she wants a relationship with me, it's her turn to try to make it happen. Otherwise, she didn't want it all that bad anyway, did she.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
