I am very close to my exH...we have been divorced for almost 6yrs now. Initially it was a little rough around the edges...but even when we went to court, we actually went together in the same car and had lunch afterwards. We've been that way ever since. I learned during our separation how to set boundaries. My exH had been an absolute control freak...and through setting boundaries and getting a new life, he was able to see me in a new light. He wasn't able to win me back the damage was too great and he never showed signs of changing his ways. But now we are the closest of friends and I adore his new GF...actually adore all his GFs (he generally has a few going at the same time, LOL!!) but now he's not my problem anymore.
I agree with the distancing...what is your goal here? Do you just want a friendship or are you trying to reconcile here? Because if you are just seeking a friendship...sounds like you have one already. I have friends, such as my ex that I see or hear from every now and then. I have friends that live out of state that I see every few years and we pick up back where we left off whenever we get together.
But if you are really seeking to reconcile with her then that would be different.
I'm curious, you made a comment that she knew about how you felt towards an exfriend of hers...when did she find out about this...during or after the marriage?
I also agree...back off a little bit and not be so available...return every few phone calls, don't always pick up the phone when she calls...return emails a day or two later and claim OOPS sorry I have been busy...blah blah...just see what happens.
