Yo Mr. A, I'm not reading anything about attraction, I'm reading about essential maleness and essential femaleness. The books are Wild at Heart (men) and Captivating (female) by John Eldredge.
The books are really good at explaining what is in a man or woman's heart...what is the essence of being a man or woman.
They are heavily Christian, so they might not appeal to all, and I personally found some of it to be theologically shaky. Overall, I think it is a better self help book than spiritual guide, but that's not why I was reading it anyway.
The male book I was like, Hmmm how fascinating...is that *really* what makes guys tick?
The female book has been much more uncomfortable for me. See, I like to think of myself as much more liberated and with it than I suppose I really am. I'd read a chapter and inwardly cringe that I was f*cking agreeing with it. How pathetic, I thought! But..............reality is reality, kwim. No sense in fighting it.
I really wish my H would read the Captivating book and figure out, once and for all, what chicks are all about. His mother has spent her whole life acting like an asexual so he has no model for what female sexuality looks like. In addition to that, she tried very hard to emasculate him by withholding her love when he acted manly or in any kind of naturally masculine way. It worked, to some extent. Also, the book uses the term "emotional incest" for when moms can't let go of their adult children. BINGO went my brain. H and I were just talking that she considers her vocation to be motherhood, despite the fact that motherhood can't technically be a vocation. 'Wife' would be the vocation but she's made sure to shove FIL to the back burner and let him know that her kids are her main source of love and validation.
Anyhoo, I don't know why I'm talking about her.
Thanks for the suggestions. I don't know that I'll look into those books; I'm truly not interested in figuring how how men attract women. I was just curious, as usual.
