A fight... good stuff. Throwing the D word around, seeing where you mind is at, testing, looking for validation.
I find it interesting that she feigns suprise on the topic of her rejecting your initiations. Maybe the women will expound somemore on intiating with timidity, hesitation, or in a supplicating way.
maybe something there, in her response, to the way you are initiating. FWIW, I find in general that when a woman is in a R with you, the best approach is to just 'take it'. Ignore MILD protestations. They mean nothing. They mean get me worked up, lead the way.
I can hear all the adverse reactions from the 'nice guys', the people pleasers, etc.---- but, but....
Of course NO means no. STOP means dont. Etc. I dont have to put that for the people pleasers here, but some dumb lurker is going to take that the wrong way.
'Im tired, im sleepy, big sighs of Now'? mean... If you want it you better do something. If you think asking for it is going to get me started and all hot and bothered, you got another think coming. Women ask us for stuff. Men get what we take.
Now you do have to show some awareness, ability to calibrate the generally feeling of where she is at. she may be in the mood, she may not. Not really relevant, I found, in general.
other thoughts. men are very linear, one thing at a time. women do lots of things at the same time. They LOVE anticipation and (the right kind) teasing. Meaning we go to bed, time for nookie. Well there was no touching, no flirting, no verbal, physical forplay, and then bam you touch her and she KNOWS what you want, but she isnt anywhere close to being turned on.
Ideas for escalation. ----------------------------- I dont seperate affection and sex. They are all entertwined, a process that continues thruout the day, all day everyday.
I am very physical with my woman. We walk thru the mall, Ill hold her hand and our of nowhere, make her pirouett.(sp?) Ill goof around and bump her, pull her, do a couple of cha cha steps out of nowhere, pretend like I am going to push her into a pole, a puddle, especially if she is busy talking to me and not paying attention where she is walking. etc. But I also am 'gallant' open doors, put myself between her and 'danger' hug her close from behind when we are in lines, crowds, etc. Claiming and protective. Then Ill wander away and go do my own thing. Let her come find me. Not needy and clingy.
Thats just general. watching tv or a movie, play with her hair, run fingers thru hair, fingernails on scalp, massage earlobes, tickle the back of her knees, but then stop after a minute or two. Brush her face, cheeks, neck, with the back of your hand lightly lightly lightly, stare into her eyes, then kiss her.
when kissing take your hand and hold the back of her head, with your fingers entwined in her hair. Make a fist out of her hair and tug it gently. pull her head back. Dont try to use your toungue to check her tonsils. nibble her lips,kiss her eyes, forhead, and really important, kiss around and on her ears, quietly, while breathing warmly on her ears and neck.
Smelling... I cant emphasize enough how important smelling a woman is. Have her sit in front of you give her a little shoulder rub. lean forward and smell her hair. Smell her neck, She will break out in goosebumps. kiss lightly then go back to smelling. I have this 'trick' I do called 'puppy'. (You cant steal it though, its copyrighted. It just to give you an idea of the way I smell women.) I sniff, snuffle, smell, inhale her all over.
Then. STOP. leave, go do something else. go back to shoulder rub. The best way to describe it is, if she likes it stop doing it. (you dont have to understand why they like this. you just have to do it.) come back to it later, a minute, a hour, whatever. act like your completely oblivious to her arousal. When she looks at you like WTH? is he doing. say out of nowhere, 'You want me. I know it'. or 'are you horny.. AGIAN!?!' -- 'Youve been thinking about ML with me all day havent you?!' Blame her in a fun way, accuse her of being insatiable. Its the opposite of being supplicating.
Im physical all the time. watching a movie? Ill shout ROWR!! and grab her during a scary part. THEY HATE THIS with a passion. SO WHAT. Stop being nice. Its hilarious. depending on her personality type, she will want to snuggle out of fear reaction, or 'beat you' which means wrestling time, fun fun, or get all huffy, which means 'grab me and drag me back to snuggle with you'. It doesnt mean apologize. When she pouts, make pouty faces back at her.
If you have a woman that likes to wrestle, escalate it. I get real serious and intense when we are wrestling, with my body and eyes, but laugh and make fun of her with my words and face. I try to provoke her to getting extremely physical, almost in serious fighting mode. It generates LOTS of chemicals emotions, you will see her eyes start flashing, and is a good tension builder. Just dont get caught up in it, or serious about it. When she is worked up, stop, kiss her on the forehead and go get a drink.
Ill move her around on the couch, and adjust her to fit me so I/we are comfortable. I dont ask if she is. If she has her head on my lap, Ill move her so her feet are in my lap and play with the back of her knees. If her head is on my shoulder Ill put it on my lap and play with her ears, hair, neck, clavicle. Then Ill smack her on the azz and tell her to go get us a drink, snacks, fold the laundry, etc. then switch it, put your head in her lap and tell her to rub your neck.
Other things I do occasionally. If its a new restaurant for her, and not for you, order her meal. IF you get there first, order for her. I used to entertain a lot for work, she would show up after we were there, I would order for her.
Find new places, take her there, dont tell her where. let her guess. Tell her how to dress or what she needs to wear to be appropriately attired. I love telling my woman what to wear. love it, love it.
Tell her to find a new restaruant, activity, family outing. Be the decision maker, but put her in charge of it. example 'Dear, I want to try Indian food. Find a couple to choose from, we are going on thursday'. Your leading, but including her in the team process.
In bed, be very physical. move her around, pull her by her ankles, flip her over, hold her arms down, twist her like a pretzel, put her where/how you want her to be. pull her hair, use strong hands, grip her shoulders, hold hands. let her feel your strength, and desire. stay tuned to her, if she is close, or seems ready to O, let her be on top. Its not the time to be hesitant. at all. If she doesnt want something, she will say No. If she wants something she will ask or hint. maybe. otherwise she wants you to do what you want, so take charge. Do things differently. change them up. Women get bored with tab a in slot b, position c,d,e. done.
If you are predictable, if you do things the same way everytime, she will be able to deny, reject, block, without even thinking about it.Remeber the everyday gets filtered out. There are some HD women round about here doing that stuff, just because they can....
Women are biologically programmed and environmentally ingrained to automatically say no. If you play into that, like nice guys do --you are part of the problem. If you put her needs above yours, the placating will turn her off.
the preceeding is just general ideas, not aimed at anyone in particular.
HD, do you and your wife unwind and reconnect before going to bed? do you talk before sleeping? Next time you respond to her, or approach her, review your interaction afterwardss and ask yourself was it supplicating? was it placating? If it was, do anything else. These behaiviors turn women off at such at sub level, its impossible to discuss it, logical it, or wish it werent so.
Old joke Husband sits on the side of the bed and holds out a glass of water and two aspirins to his W. She says whats that for? He says, for your headache. She says I dont have a headache. Husband throws the aspirin over his shoulder and say YEE HAH, were having sex tonight....
Just grab your W and pull her too you. IF she says I am hot, throw off the covers. and say 'well take off your PJ's then...'
It just to give you an idea of the way I smell women.) I sniff, snuffle, smell, inhale her all over.
SO WHAT. Stop being nice. Its hilarious. depending on her personality type, she will want to snuggle out of fear reaction, or 'beat you' which means wrestling time, fun fun, or get all huffy, which means 'grab me and drag me back to snuggle with you'. It doesnt mean apologize. When she pouts, make pouty faces back at her. 