So, Dec. 30th, I take off work and help W and D and dog move to their new apartment. All settled in, I go home and have an old HS girlfriend come over, and we drink and talk. We messed around a bit, but nothing serious, I just needed a companion, someone who truly cared. (this comes back to haunt later, but not much more that person jabs at me).
Dec. 31, NYE, I am at W's hanging curtain rods. Once that was done, so was I in W's eyes, no need for me anymore.
I spent months on my own basically, D came to my house after scholl, she hated where they lived an refused to riide the bus home with "those" kids. W would pick D up from my house, someitmes coming in, sometimes not.
Feb. 2005: I was ready to move on. I "Got A Life", started going out with friends at work on Fridays, moving on. I became LI, Loving Indifferent, meaning I Loved my W, but Lved more that she was Happy alone, than wiht me (W complained for years, and rang up crdit cards to the Max, all in the guise of "Un-Happiness").
Mid Feb. - W says she needs "a break", Huh? we are already "broken". Then within 2 weeks, she makes contact again...
March 2005 - W wants to work on us. We start. On 3-26-05 we go to the grocery together, her buying for her and D, me buyin for me. We then go to the Mall and buy New Wedding Bands. We are to go to dinner as a family, but D has a fit, we get D dinner and take her home, and W and I got to dinner and drinks. We Re-New our Vows - Fore-Ever.
April 22, our Original Anniversary, W and D and Dog, they move home.
All is well until Summer, when OM is brought up, and the story doesn't fit the "Old Story". I press, and new details emerge, not matching the old, so I called OM, got the Truth. The Truth is what I needed. I got it and was done with it.
Forgiving: That's hard, but as Michele points out, you have to, you have to Forgive in order to move forward.
Tomorrow is 1 year since W moved out. Tomorrow, W and I are sitting down, writing out our Forgivings, discussing them, and burning the papers we wrote them on. We must move forward.
There's a lot more "trash" in the last year or two, and the entire falling apart of our M that I haven't touched on yet.
The thing here is: You have to take equal responsibility for the downfall of the M. You have to accept it, chnange, for YOU, and be a better person. Whether you cathc the Eye of your WAS or not, you have to do this for YOU.
