Boy he's acting like an *ss! Don't know how you do it! Have some different thoughts though. Can you see how H being the good guy and you being the bad guy is a cheeseless tunnel? Your actions are playing right into his hands.. mostly with the kids, but it's keeping him in a position of control. Is there ANY way at all that you can turn this around? Enough to take the control away and leave him dangling a little. In the scope of your life.. how important is it that you be the one to make sure teeth are brushed... bedtime is normal, etc? Reasonably as a mother you should be able to have a routine, make rules and have your H support you. You're not dealing with that though and he's using them against you. I'm not suggesting you use the kids to get what you want, but I would suggest that you make it harder for him to use them against you.
IMHO, I think your H is being cruel to your kids by doing this. He's trying to destroy their trust and love for their mother. That's abuse... it's control of them and you. He has no right to define your R with your children. Have you thought about taking them (S5 particularly) to a child psychologist? It can't be making a secure child for him to be constantly led to believe that his mother doesnt care or is neglecting his needs. If this is allowed to grow and fester, it might make for a very angry teenager.. no matter how much your H is there for your S5, the growing belief (encouraged by a Dad he trusts) that his Mom has let him down, etc., is going to be hard for him to deal with. If push comes to shove, you might need a professional to back up that your H is manipulating your kids against you. That's not healthy! It's not what a GOOD parent does.
Im thinking of you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Huggs.
