Your H pisses me off. If he wants to leave, then he should go. I know I don't mean that, and you don't want it but WTF! Ok, I had a lot more written but I deleted it because it was just more angry stuff you don't need to hear. What I will say is let this be a lesson to all of us why DBing can do something for a marriage. Heather, wouldn't it have been great if your H had embraced some of what we talk about here and is in the books? Even if he wants this marriage, he is so hung up on destructive thoughts and feelings that he may end up being the one that destroys it, not you, who he blames for being the evil one. There is something to be said for us men who are able to put aside our caveman-ness and look deeper into the situation to find truth that is not evident on the surface. I wish so much that your H would find a way to see how much you are trying (and respect that effort) so that he might get motivated to do his own soul searching. I know you are frustrated but I think you owe it to yourself to take the advice given and stay the course. He is doing some pretty hurtful things, and they make you sad/angry/frustrated, hell, they make me feel those things. I hope you find the strength. I really do.
