Can you tell me more about how you feel, about the emotions that lie underneath the bitterness for a man? It's been mentioned on my thread several times that if the cheating partner were immediately remorseful, no chance of a R existed (like in perhaps a one night stand), how do you think that would have change how you treated your wife?
In the course of DBing I realized early on that what she is doing is NOT about me. Right now I feel abandoned, hurt, angry, lost, betrayed, etc. IF my W would express remorse, I would forgive her. I KNOW the part I played in all of this and I am working on changing it. If she were willing to admit her responsibility and work with me to better our marriage, I would be ecstatic. It would/will be hard but I would NOT be doing all this if I didn't love my W and want my M to survive this. If my W had a one night stand, I don't think it would change my feelings because all the underlying issues would still be there and I think she would still be a WAW. Don't know if that helps. In any event I want my W back. Maybe your situation (and forgive me for not knowing the whole story) is one where because of his own demons, or what you did, he was not feeling like he wanted to fight for your M or you. Now it's YOU fighting for it and he's acting like a WAH. Your husband may be more possessive than I am too. He may not be able to get over the fact that you gave yourself to someone else, on any level and now you're tainted. That is something I have yet to address in my mind. I don't know how I feel about that because my W is nowhere near contrite. Like I said, to directly answer your question, I just want my W back and I am willing to try to forgive her. I think I can but not being there yet, I don't know. I would be happy to answer any more questions like this you may have. It helps me sort myself out.
