Learning to Trust Myself V

[heatherg]

H just called and he has to cancel our MC session b/c he has to go out to a remote place for work today and probably won't even be back in time to pick up the kids. So, MC is postponed. I'm very disappointed. I guess I will still go, maybe after meeting H, C can give me some meaningful advice.

We had a horrible, horrible weekend. Nothing I do is right or good. We fought about everything. The more we fight, the more I see that it's pointless. I know I'm not telling you guys anything that you haven't already told me. Every time we argue, I see more and more that my H will fight to the death to 'prove' that his needs/opinions are more just or more considerate or more sane or whatever. And I see that I defend my points and there goes the merry go round that neither of us can get off once it gets going.

He has said we need to start the repair of our marriage by being nice to one another. But it seems, he simply wants ME to be nice to HIM.

I don't know guys, I just don't know. My boss asked me to clear my schedule Thursday evening if possible so that I could go to dinner with him and a few others in order to entertain an out of town guest, here primarily to give me guidance on the direction of my department given the changing industry. I am an integral part of his visit. I mentioned to H that I would need to go to dinner Thurs and he flipped his lid. It took me totally by surprise, I had absolutely no idea he would react like that. He gave me just about every reason in the book why it was wrong for me to go. It doesn't matter. The bottom line is, I can't say no. This is my JOB. And I have a gravy job that I LOVE. I rarely, rarely have to work overtime and if I do, it's like an hour. I take time off to do whatever I want, appts, etc. I take hour and a half lunches. I come in somewhere between 8-8:30. My boss is a gem and he allows me to monitor my own time. Dinner to entertain an out of town guest is a small thing to ask in my opinion. But my H just about went through the roof. Telling me that it's out of line for him to ask that, that I cheated on him and now I'm flauting it in his face, that I should explain to my boss why I can't go, you name it.

I feel like I'm backed into a corner and just can't get out.