Quote: H, we're either married or we're not. If we are, you have my everything including my support. If we're not, then fu@k you
I really like that in a very non-DB kinda way. Nothing like laying it out there plain as day! Can I use that later in my sitch? Probably shouldn't, huh. Anyway, it's hard to say the right things all the time. One thing I am working on doing is using my controlling nature to anticipate the potential for bad conversations and keep myself out of them. One of the things they don't understand (and for the record, neither does my S5 who keeps telling me "you know, you don't get to have everything your way" when I punish him) is that right now NOTHING is your way. They see the R as something YOU want and thus everything that goes into fixing it, living it, nurturing it, is in turn all about YOU. They don't see the R as a sanctuary the way you do. Yes, you know it will be hard to make work, but all-in-all you/we LBS think that we are ultimately going to be happier within the R than without. We have worked on ourselves to the point where we understand the need to make our own happiness but to them, since we keep pursuing the R, we are still living in the past, clinging to something that is dead to them. We understand it can never be the same, but for them, they only understand it will probably never be the same as what they have with the OP, which is of course free from pressure, guilt, financial obligations, bad days and any other thing that comes with real relationships and real, lasting love. Hang in there, realize that you don't need to be perfect and that things can and do change, starting with you!
