Learning to Trust Myself V

[spitfire23]

Hi Heather,
I really don't understand this tug of war between you and your H over the kids. I think that may be an area that you might want to explore in your counseling. It very much seems like a power struggle and your S5 is old enough to figure out what is going on here. I almost get the feeling that H is doing some of this stuff just to defy you. I'm wondering if you might make some headway by stating your case and then dropping it. Something like:

Husband: I'm taking S5 to the toy store to exchange his gift.

Heather: Oh, it is D3's bedtime and the kids still need to be fed.

Husband: Well, I still want to go

Heather: Well, we've driven separately. I'll see you at home.

Undoubtedly, the first couple times he's going to go off and do his thing. I think if you would stop reacting to his assinine choices then he would stop choosing them. Part of the reason he's doing it is to get your goat and it's working. And S5 is watching all this happen, too.

Unfortunately, S5 will pay the price for awhile with being overtired and irritable but it may be worth it in the long run. The two of you bickering is not doing him any good.
I don't know if any of this makes sense to you. I hope you are not offended. I see it that H is baiting you and you take it everytime. I think he feels like you call the shots all the time, especially with the kids. Remember that fiasco at the mall when you wanted to buy D's tights? That whole scene was a power struggle.

Don't know if any of this helps. Just giving my 2 cents worth. You're trying to rebuild your M. Don't keep going down cheeseless tunnels.

Hugs,

Spitfire