Learning to Trust Myself V

[heatherg]

And this is where the title of your thread comes into play? Learning to trust myself

Exactly.

It's a chicken and egg story that just keeps going round and round while it swirls down the drain.


Yep.

I'm pretty angry right now. We took S5 to karate and didn't get out of there until about 8pm. H was not very friendly to me while we were there and at one point I would say he was actually a jerk in front of one of the blackbelts that was speaking to me. A woman. Anyway, we get to the parking lot and H asks me "What are we doing?" I look at him and say "Going home....?" We had driven separately so S5 went with him and D3 went with me. On the way home, H calls me and says he wants to take S5 to the toy store to exchange a toy he got from my sister today that he already had. I said "H, it's D3's bedtime, we can do that tomorrow." He said accusingly "Is that fair to him?" I said "H, this isn't about being fair or unfair, we've been at karate and it's D3's bedtime, not to mention that the kids haven't eaten yet." We continue to argue about it and H says "I'll see you at home." I said "Are you planning to take him to the toy store?" He says "Yes". I got so angry I needed to hang up. A minute later I called him back and said "Are you really going to disregard what I've said and take S5 to the toystore anyway?" He said "You've disregarded what I think". I said "H, it is D3's bedtime, there is no disputing that, this has nothing to do with me disregarding you! We can go tomorrow or Friday or Saturday or Sunday. Tonight, it's late." He said I don't want to go out tomorrow, I just want to stay home tomorrow. At some point he accused me of getting mad because I wasn't getting my way. At some point I asked him why he was trying to set our R back by doing this and I told him something has come over him to act this way out of the blue. Finally he said again "I'll see you at home" and he hung up.

So, he took S5 to the toystore. Then they came home and as usual, the first thing H does is go to the fridge and get an O'Douls and goes outside to smoke. He must have ran out of O'Douls b/c he just went to the store. What an idiot. Oh, sorry.

Earlier today I asked him if he made our MC appt or if I needed to call back and he said I needed to call back. So, I guess that means he went. Maybe she said something to him he didn't like? Who knows.

Tonight when I got home from work I asked him what the heck was the deal with telling me where he was earlier? He said he didn't want to discuss it at work b/c he was actually at home sleeping when I called. He said he sat back down on the couch this morning after the kids and I left and he fell back asleep. I think he is late just about every day, I'm starting to wonder when the heck they're going to fire him. He leaves after I do in the morning, gets home before I do in the afternoon and takes long lunches. Whatever.

ARRGH. This guy either has more problems than the average bear or I am one difficult person to live with.