Learning to Trust Myself V

[heatherg]

(Mel) Well, I really found out that I'm OK, I can trust my instincts

We knew it all along

(Jabez) The C frustrated me to no end b/c she would not talk about WAW b/c WAW was a patient of her's.....My point is that I'm surprised that C told you that H was an "Intimacy Avoider".

H is not a patient of hers, maybe that is the difference. I'm not sure. She really didn't label him per se, she just said that a lot of H's behaviors that I described are things people do to avoid intimacy. She also thought his extreme ways are akin to obssessive compulsive disorder. That his rigid schedules and the way he views the world bring him comfort.

(Joe) I know that DR says to keep you expectations in check, but that's really an admonition to avoid impatience and haste in a sitch that you're trying to save. It's not a blanket condemnation of reasonable expectations in your M.

Making the distinction between what is reasonable and what isn't is difficult for me. I've been with H since I was 17, so this is really the only relationship I've ever had. We were just kids when we got together and we've had to grow and mature together and I'm sure we've done that at different rates and perhaps not at all in some areas. In some areas, maybe we're still 17. It's especially tough when you grow up together, you know?

He goes to his first session on Tuesday. I'm going to tell him to go ahead and schedule our joint session while he's there for whatever day is convenient for him and just let me know.

I certainly hope it's a turning point. I hope that this counselor is the right one for us and that she can be a good guide.