I missed posting to the bedtime dilemma before, but now I'm gonna chime in I agree with you of course! I think what's most important is to have a routine that works for everyone. I also think your H is making it much harder than it needs to be and undermining your authority with your kids. I have S19 (he goes to bed at 2AM now..haha), D11, S6 and S3. Ever since S19 was little bedtime was 8:00 until they start primary school at least. D11 goes to bed at 9:00. She asked to have it moved to 9:30 this year because she's in Jr. High, but ended up saying it was too late for her and she felt tired during the day. We get baths about 7:00. Depending on how long want to play in the tub, they might have time for a game or video, then we read between 7:30 and 8:00. It's usually 8:30 before S6 is completely settled in. Some nights he goes right out, but others he gets up to go to the potty or "tell us something"..haha. The point is, it's a relaxing time for us and the kids get a sense of security knowing the routine is the same every night and they can't push it too far. It makes them feel like someone is in control, even when they don't *want* to do something, an adult will set a boundary and help them learn to stick with it. Some children this isnt as important with, but our S6 has an impulse control problem and if we don't step in and have rules, he gets anxious and feels out of control. I can't imagine the kids being up until 10. Even on the weekend, their bedtime isnt much later. Is your S in kindergarten? They need so much rest to cope during the day. I've had people ask me how we got such smart kids.. and I've said that our kids aren't any brighter than others, I honestly believe they can focus better in school when they're well rested.. and in S6's case, havent had chocolate!
I feel your pain GF (as usual). XH is off of work right now and D11 told me he let the boys have chocolate milk and chocolate donuts before school weds! He knows S6 can't handle chocolate. We've been over it a hundred time, yet he gave in and let him have it. When I asked why (yes, I did it nicely), he said he *forgot*. WTF? We're taking S6 to a psychologist for these probs and Dad can't remember that he reacts badly to chocolate? Kids are allowed to forget that kind of stuff, parents aren't!
Hang in there! Not long until counseling starts and maybe he'll help ya'll work this one out too.
I agree with you of course! I think what's most important is to have a routine that works for everyone. I also think your H is making it much harder than it needs to be and undermining your authority with your kids. I have S19 (he goes to bed at 2AM now..haha), D11, S6 and S3. Ever since S19 was little bedtime was 8:00 until they start primary school at least. D11 goes to bed at 9:00. She asked to have it moved to 9:30 this year because she's in Jr. High, but ended up saying it was too late for her and she felt tired during the day. We get baths about 7:00. Depending on how long want to play in the tub, they might have time for a game or video, then we read between 7:30 and 8:00. It's usually 8:30 before S6 is completely settled in. Some nights he goes right out, but others he gets up to go to the potty or "tell us something"..haha. The point is, it's a relaxing time for us and the kids get a sense of security knowing the routine is the same every night and they can't push it too far. It makes them feel like someone is in control, even when they don't *want* to do something, an adult will set a boundary and help them learn to stick with it. Some children this isnt as important with, but our S6 has an impulse control problem and if we don't step in and have rules, he gets anxious and feels out of control. I can't imagine the kids being up until 10. Even on the weekend, their bedtime isnt much later. Is your S in kindergarten? They need so much rest to cope during the day. I've had people ask me how we got such smart kids.. and I've said that our kids aren't any brighter than others, I honestly believe they can focus better in school when they're well rested.. and in S6's case, havent had chocolate! 