S wants to play a game at ten minutes till bedtime? And he still has get his pjs or brush his teeth... tough.
H says otherwise? You know what he's teaching him, right? Don't listen to mommy, do what you want, no responsibility.
Maybe a compromise is, want to play a game at ten minutes till bedtime? H says there's time? "Fine. But at 9 sharp, you'd best have your pjs on, have brushed your teeth, go pottied, and be in bed - and H, you make sure he is, and please, no excuses. I want a responsible parent here, and you're the parent, not S."
He turns to the TV and says "I'm trying to hear this."
That of course you realize is his way of avoiding you and the topic. And therefore, a way of avoiding himself.
S might benefit from being de-programmed in all the steps needed to train him to go to sleep (beyond the potty and brushing teeth habits constructive habits, of course). And certainly, the last thing you want to do is stimulate with him by permitting games being played, instead it's a time for him to wind down.
Have you guys started the counseling sessions yet?
