Wow, a chance to comment on something OTHER than a$$hole WAS's....thank GOD!
My W and I have always placed HIGH importance on our kids' bedtime. We started a routine with them as soon as they were able to understand it. Right now, we have family time on the couch, either reading books or watching tv for about 1/2 hour. They get a drink (little one still likes his milk) and at the end of that time, they brush their teeth and go pee. The older one (5) then goes to his room and I lay down with him while my wife sings a couple songs to the little one (3) and puts him down. She then comes into the older one's room and gives him his kisses and occasionally lays down with him for a few minutes. We usually start all this by 7:20 and finish by 8:00 or so. Sometimes our s5 will come out and want someone to give him one more hug, but most of the time he stays put. s3 usually goes right down but wakes up sometimes in the night.
So, we have a routine, but it seems a little less involved. In terms of yours, it seems a little excessive. Actually your bedtime routine seems like our dinner time routine (ours are terrible eaters). All the deal making and such probably seems to the kid to be empty threats or gestures. Since we have had relatively few problems in this area it's hard to comment. It seems like general wisdom says that you need to set a policy of when bedtime is and enforce it with no compromises. Again, that seems to be what most experts say to do. You ultimately need to do what works for you. If this is not working for you, then obviously you need a change.
