Ok, so H and I disagree on S5's bedtime, that's been going on for a long time. But, I tell myself that I do not try to enforce my idea hard enough, so I cannot fully blame H. So lately, I've been becoming much more involved with S5's bedtime, like I'll tell him he needs to get his pjs on now or go potty, etc. Last night at 10 minutes til 9, S5 asks what he has time left to do, which games we have time left to play. I told him I was so proud of him for thinking about what time it was....I told him that shows what a responsible young boy he's becoming. I tell him we have 15 mins so we can either play Candyland or Sequence. He asks about Chutes and Ladders and I start to say no, but H says we definitely have time for that. Not being 100% positive that we don't, I say ok then. The game doesn't get over til like 9:20 or something. Then I tell S5 instead of getting up after his tape is over (he listens to a bedtime story) that he needed to get all of his potty needs over now. He does. The next step in the bedtime routine is to read a chapter out of a book series that S5 was given for X-mas. Granted, the chapters are small. The next step is to read one of S5's I Spy books together. We used to all three spy something on every page, but H has narrowed it down to each of us spying on a page and then picking just one page where we all spy something. So that goes a little quicker than it used to. The next step is to turn out the light, H exits and I spend a couple minutes telling S5 goodnight and that I love him. The next step is for H to go back into S5's room and lay down with him for probably another 15 mins telling him a story that he makes up or just talking. Then S5 listens to his storybook tape, about 10 mins. This is where he used to get up to go potty, but hopefully I eliminated this step going forward. So now, the next step is for S5 to get up and get a drink of water and go back to bed and listen to story book tape again. H has told him he is allowed to get out of bed three times (hopefully now only two) so then he gets up again and makes what H calls 'the deal'. That is where they do a handshake that if S5 stays in bed, then if he is still awake when H goes to bed that he can sleep with H. H says he did this part for me b/c I used to complain that S5 gets out of bed too many times. I went to bed while H was still laying in bed with S5 telling him his story or whatever, it was 10pm exactly. I fall asleep. H wakes me up 10 mins later by entering my room and telling me that S5 wanted H to tell me that he just brushed his own teeth. My reply is "That's great, but it's freaking after 10 at night!"
Writing this all out makes me realize the absolute idiocracy if the whole freakin thing. What do you all see when you read this?
So I get up after he gets S5 in bed again I got up and H asked me if I told S5 that he did a good job brushing his own teeth. I asked H "What the he!! is the matter with you?" He says "Um, you're insane?" I said "What TIME do we have to start bedtime in order for S5 to get to bed at a reasonable hour? I think if you were to take a poll of the United States of America, most people would back me up on this!" He turns to the TV and says "I'm trying to hear this." I go to bed. This morning he does nothing to help me get the kids ready. He knows that gets under my skin big time. He sits on the couch and cuddles them while I run around getting myself, their lunches and them ready. I hate that and he knows it so when he actually gives a crap how I feel, he will brush their teeth and put their shoes on for me. Believe it or not, that is a big help.
I want him to agree that we can do whatever routine he or S5 wants, as long as S5 is in bed ready to close his eyes at 9:30. He says no way.
Is there any way out of this hole I'm in?
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
