I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do not blame yourself. Sometimes we get in that moment, and our emotions get the better of us, and that is OK. You should not get upset with yourself. Maybe if it happens again, you might play it differently, so you feel a little more in control of your boundaries. But you have to go with what feels right to you. I hope you are doing ok.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
