Well, I can tell you how it was for me. My H. moved out. For the next few months he did spend time with me; he would come by fairly often, we would have dinner at our house, we were intimate. I stopped bringing up the R. and the o.w. as much as possible, even when I knew he was still seeing her. Things between us did get better, and we were being friends (or so I thought). Long story and certainly not the same as yours. My point being that this seemed to be helping our situation for a while. I would say that the last resort technique, which is pretty much what you are describing as the second option, is strictly that--used as a last resort. So, if you've been separated for quite a while and nothing else is working, it might be something to try, if you feel ready to do that.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
