Here's my latest developments, I just need to write it out, sometimes it is so helpful to just post your thoughts and re-read, then I can think "what is she doing?"
Anyway, Thursday before NYE, I was working an event for work in the evening, H had been texting small talk all afternoon, after I didn't respond he called my cell and my house phone 8 times in two hours. I called him back when I got home, he assumed I was out with friends (kinda was)... Anyway, I told him my mom was taking the kids out of town for New Years, so there wasn't any reason for him to come around until Sunday night when they returned (he is working out of town and comes home on weekends to see kids, drink my coffee, enjoy my company and sneak out for visits with OW). He starts crying and telling me that he wants to see me, too, that he has been trying to break it off with OW for past week, she is no longer moving to his new town, he told her to stay where she is for a career opportunity. He asked if we could do something together on NYE, came over Friday afternoon, we had a wonderful weekend together, he did not leave to see her at all, ignored his phone... We decided we enjoyed each others company and being together, but did not want to label what we were doing (my words). Leaves Monday nite, calls me Tuesday and wants to come home to see me and boys just for night, OW didn't know he was in town...
Early Wed. morning, he left his phone out while in shower, I checked it, because I wanted to know if OW was still moving away with him, find out she has put her place up for rent, and likes to send him phone pix a wife doesn't need to see..
I confront husband, who is pissed I looked at phone, of course, and says she is insisting on moving to his town, and he doesn't know what he wants. This, after telling me he only thinks about his family when he's gone, and how we should all be together! He said he has a hard time imagining his life without OW. Then we decide to play hooky and hang out as family, have a passionate bedroom session, and don't really discuss the rest of day.
I know that in the past week there have been many different positives to make note of. It is really weird because he and I have become able to spend the weekends together as he a family, he has started doing little things like putting his hands on my hips, kissing me as he walks by, things that he used to do ALWAYS but has not done since he first left. I am jealous of other woman, but not. He kows that during the week I have a social life, and has somehow come under the impression that I have a new male friend (I didn't bother to clarify).
Anyway, is it wrong to be letting him essentialy have the best of both worlds? He has said he doesn't feel pressure from me when we are together, I really don't have any expectations, just hope and enjoying the moments as they are... It seems that two things work for him: my being his friend and showing I love him and listening, acting "as if" there is no OW, and he also responds when I cut contact back as much as possible (considering young children involved). Any htoughts or perspectives are much appreciated. I know this is a long and rambling post...
