I've been reading these boards for about two months now, and have gotten such great insight on my own sitch from everyone here. Now I feel like I don't know where to go with all of this... My sitch: Me 31 H 35 S4 S8 Married two years, together 15
August 05 i get the ILYBINILWY story, that he has feelings for someone else, I freaked and he left to sleep at a friends, the OW is 24, co-worker. Mid-September he comes home for a week, swore off contact with OW, but was lying. Moved out and got his own place, end of October, same deal started coming around again, professing love, quit his job to get away from OW, the whole time I had been TRYING to DB, started working out and lost a lot of weight, going out with friends. Anyway, we started counseling, told me the relationship with OW was over, but I had suspicions. He took a new "dream" job 2 1/2 hours away, we all planned to move together to start over, his first weekend home from new job I picked up his phone and saw some text messages that I di not need to read. Turns out the affair never ended, the OW had no idea we were working on our marriage, he told her he was staying with me to be near the kids before he moves! She is planning to move to be near him. Now, we are headed for divorce (my threat, no papers filed yet). We spent a great weekend here over Christmas, I gave in to the moments and kissed him, we ML, shared the bed, he left telling me he loved me, but I know he is with her in the other town tonite, she drives up there mid-week to stay the night in his hotel.
I know that I can't do anything but continue GAL and let go, is it wrong to keep hope? I don't know if I should be cold and distant to him or continue to be his friend. Our relationship was based on friendship, his leaving I knw is due in large part to my lack of sex drive since the kids were born (which has been attributed to my birth control pills, among other things, and there is no lack of now)!
Any advice or comments are welcome. Feedback from people who WANT their spouses back would be so nice, I am surrounded by people who think I should forget about him...
