Koshka is right you do see through the clutter. I didn't have any thoughts I just wanted to thank you, been a rough couple of days and I have appreciated you as you know the whole story.
Hope you are having a good day. Your evening sounds like it was really nice.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hi Ellie, I've taken to reading your thread because there's good thyroid info on it and wanted to respond to the S19 issue.
Is there any way to agree to talk to her but only if you can also email her parents and let them know about it? Perhaps you can explain to son that, although you are sympathetic to him as your child, you are also sympathetic to them as fellow parents and wouldn't feel right getting involved in the situation without their knowledge.
It's doubtful that he'll listen to any arguments concerning her being a minor; it sounds like he's already made an emotional bond with her. Hopefully her instability will get old and the whole thing will die out.
The lecture sounds fascinating! I just finished reading "Black Like Me" by John Howard Griffin which was written in 1959. I expected to be struck by how much has changed but I was actually struck by how much is the same. Excellent book.
Had a bad dream last night, that D15 was smoking. Was so relieved when I woke up this morning and realized it was just a dream.
Then tonight accidentally saw a post of D's on the computer about her interest in body modifications. She panicked and shoved me out of the way to shut off the computer before H and I could see any more. God knows what else was on there. She's in the living room arguing with my H right now.
I thought she was so much better but she so still clearly has a totally unhealthy obsession with her appearance. And I'm just a wreck - every time it seems like I can start to relax about her, something like this comes up. I love her, but frankly, the next 2 1/2 years cannot go by quickly enough for me. I just don't know how much more of this I can take.
*sigh. Yeah. I know. The parenting never stops. And I am willing to bet good money, that in 2 1/2 years when your D is over 18, you will still worry about her. Look at what you have been going through with your son!
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Ah, but it's easier when they are out of the house and you don't know everything they're doing!
My H has this picture of her in his office, taken just before she first got sick - she was so beautiful, athletic, confident (and was a straight A student). I almost cry every time I see it, I miss that girl so much, and it seems like she never really returned to us.
S19 - he's really no trouble, just want to help keep him, in his naivete, from getting sucked into something unhealthy. I really miss him - he's the only other person in the house with the "happy gene" - sometimes I find it so draining to be surrounded in this house by three people all with depression and related issues. It's so not me!!!
Quote: D15 asked S14 the other day how he got so good on the guitar so quickly.
His answer? "I went down to the crossroads"
Hi Ellie
Please supply a simple translation for the above!
I so hear you on the depression thing and how your son is the only one with the happy gene. I fear that my daughter may be "naturally" more like her father - depressive, narcissistic, manipulative and whatnot. She sure has changed a lot since she spent a clear month with him last summer. It is hard not to fall into the trap of thinking that everythng negative that she does is a result of her father's influence, or genes... She is just so different from how I was at her age.
I just hope your son doesn't always try to "rescue" women who are unreachable and ultimately unresuable, that is the nightmare, thinking you can help or change someone, when they never do. I don't think I thought I would change my H directly, but I did think that with a stable family and lots of love and stability, he would mellow, relax and blossom. (Once many years ago, he wrote me a card, one of the very few that was in any way sentimental or personal - more than just "love H" - which thanked me for our family, our DD, our home, and for introducing him to my country of origin, where he had always wanted to go, but was scared somewhat.) It seems not. Reading about the dynamics of narcissism, it seems that is the last thing that happens, they acutally have to get away, upset the apple cart by kicking it over.
Sorry to hijack your thread with my stuff once again...
(((((((((((((((Ellie)))))))))))))))))))
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Another hug. Stash it for later if you don't need it right now.
When S13 was an infant, I was talking at work about how I would go sleep on the floor next to his crib if I heard noises on the baby monitor. (I did the same with the next two kids, too.) I said that I knew it was nutty to be so worried that "he'll stop breathing" or some such, but once the monitor woke me I could never get back to sleep in our bed anyway, lying there listening to his breathing on the monitor.
I said I could hardly wait until he was older and I wouldn't have to worry so much. A woman who worked in the office said, "Joe, I'm a grandmother. My kids are almost as old as you. You never stop worrying about them."
So when the next two and a half years are gone, you'll have something else to worry about! Now that I've cheered you up with that , consider that all of us parents are in the same boat!
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Robert Johnson was THE seminal blues player, his recordings from the 1920's still stand up today, his songs are still played by modern rock artists today. There is a legend about how he got to be so good, that he met the devil at the crossroads and sold his soul in exchange for the ability to play and write music so well.
She is just so different from how I was at her age.
, consider that all of us parents are in the same boat!